by Joel Comiskey
To coach others effectively, you need to be coached at the intimate levels of your life. I’m talking about those who you’re closest with. It’s really hard to coach someone else if you’re intimate personal relationships are falling apart.
If your married, for example, your spouse needs to be your best friend. I pray with my wife on a regular basis. She’s my best friend and number one accountability partner. When I stumble in any area of my life, she’s the first one I confess to. Such accountability protects me and prepares me to coach others.
I’ve noticed that some husbands quickly share their failings with other men but won’t go directly to their wives. Yes, it might be easier to talk to someone of your own gender but this should never be an excuse not to go directly to your spouse. Your spouse is your first line of defense against Satan’s darts and temptations. Maintaining an intimate relationship with your spouse will enhance your coaching.
God convicted John of dabbling with pornography, and he confessed it to God and eventually to one of his friends. He felt comfortable in talking to his friend because he was the same gender. But he didn’t talk to his wife. I challenged John to go directly to his wife. It took a lot of prayer and boldness, but when he did so, he was amazed at the loving response from his wife. The confession drew them closer together, and John now has someone who will help him avoid similar temptations. John also received emotional and spiritual healing in the process.
If you’re single, I’d encourage you to find a good friend of the same gender to talk to and share with. You will grow in your spirituality and relationship with God as you share intimately with someone else and will be a far better coach as a result.
I was attending a Promise Keeper’s rally when I first heard John Maxwell talk about true success. He said, “true success is having those closest to you love and respect you the most. I didn’t catch the full weight of what he said that afternoon, but over the years I’ve had time to reflect on life, ministry, and relationships. Maxwell’s words have convicted me again and again to prioritize what really matters in life.