Month: May 2007

Steve Cordle

 

One of the most helpful scriptures to me and to our other cell leaders is Jesus’ parable of the sower.

As we read how the seed fell on various kinds of soil and produced different kinds of results, we think about the people to whom we minister.  

We leaders want everyone to respond to Jesus and to the call to disciplesihp. It’s so exciting when people follow and grow in Christ. It can be disheartening and frustrating to see some not respond to the invitation, or to start and then fall away. As we discuss and pray through this, we realize that beyond planting the seed, we have limited power to influence spiritual results.

However, we also want to try to till the “soil” of people’s hearts in any way we can. Prayer and love are two ways to help break up hard heart-soil and prepare it to receive the seed of God’s word. When we repeatedly pray (privately and in the cell) for people by name, we can help clear the enemy’s interference in their lives so the person can perceive the Spirit’s call more clearly. And when we express love and serve people, they more fully open their hearts not only to us but to the Lord we represent.

So, here is Pittsburgh it’s garden planting time! It’s finally time to turn over the soil to plant some seeds. But in the kingdom it’s always the season to pray and love in order to get ready to reap the harvest!

 

I’ve watched some coaches over the years set themselves up as authority figures. They arrived at the place of commanding their leaders what do to. They fell into the “you must submit to me” mentality. Such aberrant behavior places leaders under bondage rather than liberating them to serve. Coaching focuses on the latter.

How do you know if you’ve been effective as a coach? The only way I know is to practice coaching and then evaluate whether or not you’re meeting the needs of the leader. My advice is to step out and coach and then get feedback from those who you are coaching. Is the leader satisfied with your coaching? If so, green light. You’re on the right path. However, if months later, the leader is not getting his or her needs met, you might need to do some radical adjustments. How will you know? By asking the leader and getting feedback. Those who you are coaching are your best resources to determine if you’re meeting needs or not. Through their feedback, you can began to shape your own coaching style.

I ask all the leaders I coach to give me an oral evaluation. In fact, I start out the coaching process by telling them that I’ll be asking them to evaluate my coaching. I find that all advice is helpful and makes me a better coach—even when they say things I didn’t necessarily want to hear. I want to know if I’m on the right path, so asking for advice is preferred to the silent, uncomfortable knowledge that something is wrong.

The difference between a good coach and a great coach is a listening, learning spirit and willingness to improve. Better coaches have learned from their experience and made mid-course corrections to better meet their target audience.
Comments?

My new book Coach will come out on September 2007.

This part of the Advanced Training series that will train cell leaders to coach new leaders.

Check it out.

“How do people get well?”

This question was posed to me by a fellow pastor.  The context of the question:  How I have observed people moving from disability to spiritual health/wholeness.

My first thought was Jesus questioning the man at the pool of Bethesda.  He asked, “Do you want to get well?”  A great question.  My hunch is that Jesus knew the man was finding his identity in his illness.  He had secured a reserved box seat at the pool for thirty-eight years.  I trust you know the story and the outcome (see John 5). 

My fellow pastor, Jim Donaldson, and I have talked about this extensively over the last 14+ years of ministry together.  While the answer to come is no “silver bullet,” I believe it has some merit and would encourage you to consider my thoughts.

Let me shift gears.  When a person is eye level to the curb or as low as the under belly of a snake, he/she may be tempted to isolate or alienate.  This is the precise plan of the enemy.  We constantly teach our people, “When in need of help/support/care/comfort, do not play into the enemy’s plan of isolation or alienation.”  Walking down the path of isolation and alienation is devastating.  It does not birth health.

With that said, let me answer the question:  “How do people get well?”

First, they stay committed to their set of relationships– their cell.  They show up for the cell gathering and the fellow cell members stay engaged with them outside of the cell gathering.  Next, they participate in corporate worship– celebration.  There is something dynamic and spiritual that happens when one joins with his fellow church members to celebrate the goodness of God.  Finally, they afford themselves the opportunity to meet one on one with a fellow cell member for discipleship and accountability.

You might ask, “What about this hurting individual making the commitment to meet with God each day?”  This would be great!  Yet, it rarely happens.  This ailing person finds it difficult to get out of bed and engage life at any level.  He/she is whipped, beat up and desperate.  While I might long for him/her to engage God on a personal level… again…. it rarely happens.  They need the body to help them along for a season.

Back to the pool of Bethesda (John 5).  Jesus says to the man:  “Stand up [this command is rooted in the power of God], take up your mat [you have no use of this box seat from here forward], and walk [he did!].”  May we collectively and corporately pursue “being well.”  No one this side of heaven will ever attain complete wholeness.  Yet, by the grace of God, may we move from one level of wholeness to the next.  Without a doubt, we need God and each other.

So, my friends– “How do people get well?”  Comments? 

 

Most of what I know about coaching has come through failure. In 2001, I started coaching fulltime. That is, my fulltime paid job was to coach leaders. There was one problem. I didn’t know how to coach. I thought I knew, but in reality, I equated coaching with consulting and teaching.

It became apparent as the months passed by that my form of coaching was not working. Those who I was coaching got tired of my constant advice-giving and when I ran out of answers, I was hard-pressed to justify my coaching position. My evaluations became more and more negative and some leaders left. It was truly a dark night of the soul.

The good news was that I could only move upwards. I began to devour every piece of literature on coaching. A whole new world opened up to me—one that I didn’t even think existed. The gracious leaders that stuck with me welcomed my changed perspective. I now had something to give.

As I look back over that difficult time period and where I am now, I realize that God was taking me back to the school of learning. He used my mistakes and failures to move me upwards in my development and ultimately to make me a far better coach. You’ll also make a lot of mistakes. Just remember that mistakes are helpers, not hindrances. Teddy Roosevelt, in fact, said, “He who makes no mistakes, makes no progress.” Skill comes after experience.

Coaching often involves trying, failing, trying again, etc. There are no clear rule books. It’s more like treking through the forest with machete in one hand. The way you’ll get to the destination is by learning and growing.

Comments?

Joel

To coach others effectively, you need to be coached at the intimate levels of your life. I’m talking about those who you’re closest with. It’s really hard to coach someone else if you’re intimate personal relationships are falling apart.

If your married, for example, your spouse needs to be your best friend. I pray with my wife on a regular basis. She’s my best friend and number one accountability partner. When I stumble in any area of my life, she’s the first one I confess to. Such accountability protects me and prepares me to coach others.

I’ve noticed that some husbands quickly share their failings with other men but won’t go directly to their wives. Yes, it might be easier to talk to someone of your own gender but this should never be an excuse not to go directly to your spouse. Your spouse is your first line of defense against Satan’s darts and temptations. Maintaining an intimate relationship with your spouse will enhance your coaching.

God convicted John of dabbling with pornography, and he confessed it to God and eventually to one of his friends. He felt comfortable in talking to his friend because he was the same gender. But he didn’t talk to his wife. I challenged John to go directly to his wife. It took a lot of prayer and boldness, but when he did so, he was amazed at the loving response from his wife. The confession drew them closer together, and John now has someone who will help him avoid similar temptations. John also received emotional and spiritual healing in the process.

If you’re single, I’d encourage you to find a good friend of the same gender to talk to and share with. You will grow in your spirituality and relationship with God as you share intimately with someone else and will be a far better coach as a result.

I was attending a Promise Keeper’s rally when I first heard John Maxwell talk about true success. He said, “true success is having those closest to you love and respect you the most. I didn’t catch the full weight of what he said that afternoon, but over the years I’ve had time to reflect on life, ministry, and relationships. Maxwell’s words have convicted me again and again to prioritize what really matters in life.
Comments?

Joel